You Gotta Use Lube, Dude
“Women don’t need lube!” My clueless, innocent gay best friend exclaimed as we pulled up to my local sex shop to refill on my favorite lube. I sigh in frustration as I, almost embarrassed, now have to explain myself and embark on a full-fledged sexual lesson for the oblivious. But, can you necessarily blame him? In fact, this isn’t the first time I’ve gotten this reaction. Sure, we’ve all HEARD of lube, but how often do people talk about it and it’s importance during sex, especially with straight couples? The fact is that lube is super important, whether you’re straight, gay, bisexual, or are just going solo for the night. Let’s debunk the stigma behind it and take your sex to the next level.
Before we dive into the modern world of personal lubricant, let’s take a brief history lesson on where it all began.
The first recorded use of personal lubricant was in 350 B.C where they used olive oil to keep things slippery during sex. Aristotle actually believed that olive oil could prevent pregnancy. Boy, was he probably shook when his daughter Pythias was born a few months later...
Flash forward about two centuries, when Japanese people created tororo-jiru, a yam soup that doubled as lube. Yes, sweet potatoes. Those same folks, as well as people in China and Korea, came up with another idea to boil seaweed and use a liquid called Carrageenan.
So, we’ve all heard of KY Jelly, right? It was the first commercial lubricant ever created and bottled in 1904 but was really only used for surgical procedures. Come 1917, you could buy it, but you needed a prescription for it. Can you imagine?
By the time the ’80s rolled around, you could finally buy lube in stores. Hooray!
But still, except for the gay community, lube wasn’t really *casually* used for things outside of medical exam rooms until the 2000s.
So, where are we now, and why are you reading this, again?
Right. I’m gonna tell you why you need it.
Storytime: it’s my sophomore year of college, and I’m dating who I thought to be the man of my dreams. He’s pretty sizable if you know what I mean. I’ve always been, on paper, attracted to men, but my vagina has never agreed with me. My brain wants sex, but my body doesn’t. So, spit was always our friend. But he refused to use lube. I’d say this was his “typical man” brain coming in, saying that if he couldn’t turn me on, then he was doing something wrong, and I MUST be able to get wet for him. I don’t know if it was the pressure of the situation, but honey, it wasn’t happening. I always had pain during sex. Sometimes, it was to the point where I was crying because it felt like we were both developing rug burn. It’s just how my body rolls.
My next partner, however, was totally down to try some lube. All of a sudden, the gates of sex heaven opened up and my life was changed forever. Sex was comfortable.
So, now, maybe I've sold you on why you want to try it, but what kind do you get? Let me hold your hand and walk you through the confusing corn maze of your local sex shop.
Quick note: if you are prone to vaginal infections, look for lubes that are glycerin-free!
Water-Based: This is going to be best for solo play, using silicone or plastic toys. This will work for penetration (even with condoms), but it’s not going to be your best option, as it will dry out just as fast as spit will.
Try: Sutil Luxe or for a quick trip to Target, Good Clean Love Almost Naked Aloe-Based Lubricant will work.
Silicone Based: THIS is your option for penetration, whether that be vaginal or anal. This is also condom friendly. But, be careful not to use your silicone toys with this type of lube! It’ll destroy the surface on your favorite Emojibator.
My Pick: Pjur Original Silicone Lube for a quality splurge, but in a pinch, Wet Platinum (Target) will do just fine.
Oil Based: This is best for sensual massages or unprotected sex, but will destroy condoms and might harm your toys, too. :x
Try: Good Clean Love: Love Oil
The wrap-up: If you’ve learned nothing else from this article, take away that no matter who your partner is, always be sure to listen to them and their body’s needs and not shame them for needing some extra help here or there.